To have faith, to grow toward love, union, salvation, or enlightenment, we must be moved from order to disorder and then ultimately to reorder.
~ Richard Rohr Daily Meditation 21. January 2023
I have been away from my keyboard for a few weeks with only a brief appearance to write a piece on my father in December. I apologize to those of you who noticed the absence of a Pitchfork Paper in your inboxes and even more to those who reached out and asked if everything was good at my end. It is and was and I am grateful for your enquiry. Writing is a habit and taking a break from it has felt dangerous. Recommencing it, even after only a few weeks hiatus feels rusty and awkward, like standing up with pins and needles in your leg. Bear with me whilst I hobble over to my desk.
It is especially awkward if the hiatus has been prompted by a change in thinking, as it has in my case. A metamorphosis, if you will, an evolution that has an aspect of radical rewiring, although in my case without the assistance of ayahuasca or externally introduced mind-altering substances. I am not sure whether that is a good or bad thing. We will see. For the last few weeks I have been experiencing a crisis of sorts, one of those periods in adult life in which the old way of doing things is brought to a head, in which a flawed system of living stops working and decades old compounded inconsistencies reach a tipping point and demand attention. And change. The proverbial cows coming home to roost. This crisis - and I am choosing to be deliberately obtuse about its nature - has re-ordered my priorities and hence the ontology of my writing. I think this will prove to be a good thing, but I will not be the only judge of that.
This moment, still within spitting distance of the start of the New Year, seems like a good enough place to re-engage and to map out what my preoccupations are likely to be throughout the next year.
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